Looking at different options.
Planning my flights.
Planning my father’s flights.

After looking forever I found one that went through Chicago.

I can never go back.
Not even for a layover.

Sep 9
Spending today booking flights.


I will finally have you as a piece of me forever. I will be able to declare your beauty across the land. To tell people of your majesty.

And I’m doing it all with the man I love the most, my father. I am so blessed. I don’t even realize it anymore.

I cry and complain to Yada more than I should. She knows all of my woes and allows me to just release everything every single time I’m around her. If it weren’t for her I probably would have moved already. If it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be hanging in there. Honestly, that’s the biggest blessing I’ve gotten this past year.

I haven’t stopped stumbling. That’s okay. I have spent this time learning. I’m getting better at getting by. I’m getting better.

I miss C more than anything. It is time to let go.

Sep 8

That I was only able to sleep for four hours.

Sep 8
So sick




The darkness brings sleep. Long awaited rest. I need that time. Tomorrow is a new day. There are great things in store for my future. I know it.

Sep 7


Sep 6
Favorite season?

At least not this much.

Getting broken up with is literally the worst fucking feeling. This time it was mutual and I still managed to cry the entire time. What’s really shitty is that we still care for each other so much.

You’re a peach. You’ve always been one.




Sep 3
I really didn’t think it would hurt.

My mother told me that I was brave.
Braver than she will ever be.

I’ll never forget today.


Sep 1
And there I go again. We are halfway there.Are you sure this is forever? Don’t you think it was a mistake? 22:55AG
Aug 29

And there I go again.

We are halfway there.
Are you sure this is forever?
Don’t you think it was a mistake?



(Source: summer-time-dandelion)

that ends well.

Aug 29
All’s well,

I meant it.

It doesn’t come easy.

I stumbled across pictures of you today. My heart beating so quickly. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw you. That’s a lie. You were walking down the street. You had just told me a lie. I could see the sun on your face. Your hat on backwards. Your slinky walk. You didn’t give a fuck.

I always gave a fuck. I always loved you. I never stopped. I’ve never stopped loving you. And I’m not sure if I ever will.

It’s sad that everyone is just a joke compared to you. I thought I’d know you forever. These days I wonder where your head rests at night.


Aug 26
When I said it

For houses on Thursday about an hour north of where I live now.

This is so darn exciting. I can’t wait to have my own place, with my own things, and my own babies again.

We will be together again.
We will be a family again.

Fingers crossed on the first place I view. It is beyond perfect and I have no words.

Aug 26
Aug 25

August 2014 


In just a few short months I’m going to be with the most important person in my life again. My father and I will be together again and I am so happy. He is my very best friend and I can’t believe it’s finally happening. I have these amazing plans for his Christmas present. He is literally going to flip out whenever he opens it. I just want to fall asleep with my head on his lap. I want him to bake cookies. I want to watch alien shows with him. I want to take the dogs for a walk with him. I want us to just go back to normal. In a world that is unpredictable he is a constant norm.

Aug 22
I can’t contain myself anymore.

"1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay. 2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want. 3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. 4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy. 5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life."

- Five things I am trying very hard to accept  (via ablogwithaview)

This is everything right now.

(Source: aumoe, via yangtzeswimming)

Aug 21

It doesn’t creep under your bed, hide in your closet, or haunt your dreams.

The real horror only occurs in those tiny moments before you drift off to sleep. The second in takes to let the water wash over you in the shower. The moments the record skips until you go over to it. The sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you finally realize that they are telling someone else that they are in love with someone new.

The moment hits hard when you find out that they spend their nights together. It hits even harder when they say forever. It hit even harder before you could say goodbye.

It is the door closing on your face. The lack of an embrace. The simple moments you forgot to memorize in every small detail. When you see them again it just isn’t the same. You know that those words have dripped off of their lips onto the small of someone else’s back.

You know that your moments have long since been forgotten. And when they said “I love you” it was the same as saying “it looks like it might rain”.

Your stomach turns not because you are in love, but because you’ve lost the only love you’ve ever known.

The saddest part is that they know. They know and they laugh.

While you’re shaking in a corner trying to sweat out every emotion you’ve ever been able to feel. Forgetting for the moment that pain isn’t passing. Pain is eternal. We strive for the happy moments. They’ve become a distant memory.

00:09 EST


Aug 20
The Horror